Today’s guest post in the Mosaic of Motherhood series comes from Desiree Townsend. Desiree and I are both part of a blogging group called Project Underblog: Small and Mighty. Let me just tell you that if you have never been a part of a blogging or writing group, you are missing out. Through Underblog and other groups, I have met some of the nicest, smartest, most encouraging people from all over the world. It is truly one of the highlights of the internet for me. When I put a call out on Underbloggers for women to write for this series, Desiree was one of the brave women who answered. And I am so glad she did! Enjoy her take on the lighter side of parenting.
Raising my children. All I can say is WOW. Those of you who are parents, I know you understand! Oh, sure, it’s rainbows and butterflies most days. Hugs and kisses at night as I tuck them into bed, the high-fives I give them after a job well-done, the memories we make visiting different people in different places.
However, with all that “good” going on in the house, there’s been a balance of “icky”, too. There was the time that Ethan puked in the car on the way up to Coal Creek Canyon – yeah, he missed the bag completely and spewed all over the faux suede car interior. Did I mention he had no extra clothes? And, let’s not forget the “two-ended messes” after a bad batch of spinach lasagna. Let’s suffice it to say all three of us slept in the bathroom that night and I washed many clothes and towels the next day.
Look kid, if you’re going to commit forgery at least get the name right
Years ago, I decided I was entirely sure that my children thought they were smarter than me. A couple of examples came to mind as I was reading See Mom Run: Side-Splitting Essays From the World’s Most Harried Moms and was reminded of my own side-splitting moments with my kids. The most memorable to me was the time Ethan’s teacher contacted me at work regarding an incident with forgery. He was in second grade at the time.
I wanted to remember the thoughts in my head forever, so I wrote it in a short faux-letter to my son via my blog:
Paybacks. Fun. I just got a call from your literacy teacher saying you forged my signature for the reading log you didn’t complete last night because you misplaced your backpack. I started cracking up, not because I wasn’t upset… but because the teacher told me you signed it “Dez”. Looks like I need to have another talk with you about lying.
((((Pray for him that he’s able to live another day.))))
Oh, it was a thing of beauty, this “Dez” signature! How does a second-grader think to do that?? I can recall my days in junior high school and beyond. I came home every Friday with a progress report from my teachers when my grades were less-than-stellar (okay, they totally sucked eggs) and forged my mom’s signature, pretending that she had seen the paper so I didn’t get my block knocked off. I know, I was a bad, bad kid. But, hey! At least I got the name right.
Dude, she’s wearing pajamas to school
Lest you think Ethan was the most naughty of my two biological kids, I wish I would have taken a picture of them on a very particular day nearly ten years ago. Unfortunately, that was the last thing on my mind as I was racing them around the house, trying to get them motivated to MOVE!
You see, when my children were six and four, they seemed to think they were adults, and going to bed later than 9 pm was their prerogative. We had been out at my brother’s house and didn’t get home until almost ten, but I expected them to go straight to bed and not screw around. They had behaved perfectly until that point, of course.
The picture I should have taken that ill-fated morning would have been priceless: Mary going to school in her pajamas because she didn’t get up in time to get dressed. Moreover, if I would have had my way, Ethan would have gone in the pajamas he wore the night before, too: pink with teddy bears. Now, don’t get all freaked out. I would have sent a change of clothes with him to change into – God knows I didn’t want him to endure being teased at school. I’m was just so damn tired of these kids getting up late and being late to school, thus making me late to work. I could not take it anymore – I felt as if I could go postal at any time!
I swore to both of my kids that, from then on, if they missed the call to arise and greet the day, they would have their picture taken in their jammies. I also swore to the sweet baby jeebus that I would post it online for all to see.
I never had to.
So long as Desiree (aka Dez) is not helping her son dodge the forgery authorities by moving from one state to another or sending her kids to school with fuzzy pajamas, she can be found at her blog, Finding We Project, where she writes about faith, family, food and fitness in an effort to help families with tweens and teens grow closer together.