For when others just don’t understand

The words below were written early on in my latest anxiety flare up.  I had been to a medical professional to be treated for a physical problem resulting from my anxiety.  During my treatment this professional got exasperated with me and said,

“You just need to relax. This is all in your head you know.” 

I was so hurt and frustrated (because if I could “just relax,” trust me, I would in a racing heartbeat). So then, the following words came out (at least I thought them and jotted them down).

 

An Anxiety Sufferers Manifesto

I have an anxiety disorder.

And I am kind.
And I am caring.

And I have an anxiety disorder.

And I am intelligent.
And I am creative.

And I have an anxiety disorder.

And I am beautiful.
And surprisingly funny.

And I have an anxiety disorder.

So sometimes I struggle.
Sometimes I am a bit of a mess.

But I still deserve your attention and your respect. Your compassion even if you dare for I have likely been through more than you know.

I am not crazy.
I am not to be dismissed just because I may be difficult to deal with or bothersome to you.

I have an illness.  And illness that is not any more my fault than diabetes or cancer.

If you will take the time to look and listen past my tense shoulders and racy heart you will find a person who has a lot to offer.

Even though . . . and even because . . . I have an anxiety disorder.

 

So that’s what I wrote. And maybe one day I’ll have the courage to say them out loud to those who just don’t get it.

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4 thoughts on “For when others just don’t understand

  1. Every so often I go thru anxiety as I try to please everyone. My problem is not to the degree of the condition you have described. I feel going to the Lord in prayer helps me and I wonder if you have experienced the same.

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