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Learning To Ask For Help
Needless to say, it is deeply
frustrating to run up against my limits this way. We all want to believe we are endlessly strong and healthy and capable and then . . . BOOM . . . Life comes along and sets us straight on how mortal and even fragile we really are.
As I have had plenty of time to think this week, I have asked myself over and over what the gift in this situation is. What is the silver lining to this cloud? The first gift that comes to mind is that in my incapacitated state I have actually learned to ask for help.I don’t know about you, but I am much more used to being the one who delivers the casserole than being the one who receives it. This switch in roles is not easy, but I think it is good for me. We all need to be able to reach out for and receive help from time to time. Sure it is humbling. But it also shows me how much I am cared for and loved. And that is as silver lining to hold onto long after this cloud has passed. I hope this post finds you doing well, but maybe not so well that you forget your need of others’ help and love. And if times get rough, may you have casseroles to spare.
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Dena when I was about your age I broke my ankle tripping over my cat. It was my right ankle so I couldn’t drive. Being on crutches made everyday activities a challenge. I, too was always the first to show up with a pan of lasagna when others were in need, and now preparing the simplest meal was a challenge- you can’t bend over to take something out of the oven on crutches! And so, the food began to arrive- fabulous food, all of my favorites from my friends! I was wracked with guilt at the gifts- people certainly had things they would rather be doing than cooking for me and chauffeuring me around!
My priest came to me for our monthly meeting, and brought a pizza from our normal lunch place. I showed him all the food and he was elated as we went through my fridge together. I told him how guilty I felt at the outpouring of labors and wanted it to stop as he set the table. He became uncharacteristically quiet and then said, “You just don’t get it.” He went on to explain that if I requested that people stop doing for me it would deprive them of an act of love. The same act that gave me so much pleasure!
Simon tripping me taught me a wonderful lesson. It is not more blessed to give than receive! We are not taught that. It is the cycle of blessing, giving and receiving, that connects us in love.
That’s beautiful Bill. “It is the cycle of blessing, giving and receiving that connects us in love.” You should blog! Thanks for highlighting this wonderful cycle.
We missed you!!! Take good care of yourself.
Thanks! Getting a little better each day.