New Years Thoughts
how my jaw feels sometimes[/caption] And then I remembered. Around Christmas I had gotten a mental health massage and chatted some with my massage therapist about my jaw problems. It is often tight and sore and sometimes makes way too much noise when I open it first thing in the morning. She asked if I was a clencher and I admitted that I was, bite guard and all. She compassionately mentioned that sometimes people clench their jaw if they are working too hard to hold their tongue. Oh . . . Bullseye. I’ve always leaned towards quiet and shy. When I first started school, some of my classmates actually wondered if I was able to speak I was so silent in class. Also, I grew up in the deep South where girls are expected to mind their words. Always be polite, never rude. Don’t talk too much or know too much or else others won’t like you. Just smile and be sweet. All of this cultural conditioning worked very well on me. When we are having trouble with customers at the coffee shop where I barista, I am often nominated to talk to the problem party as I will be the least likely to offend them or make them mad. Me and my honey coated words. But with that gift of diplomacy also comes a price. I still hold silent far too much. I weigh my words until they are so heavy that I cannot get them out of my mouth. I just hold them in with a tight tongue and clenched jaw.