how my jaw feels sometimes[/caption] And then I remembered.  Around Christmas I had gotten a mental health massage and chatted some with my massage therapist about my jaw problems.  It is often tight and sore and sometimes makes way too much noise when I open it first thing in the morning.  She asked if I was a clencher and I admitted that I was, bite guard and all.  She compassionately mentioned that sometimes people clench their jaw if they are working too hard to hold their tongue.  Oh . . . Bullseye. I’ve always leaned towards quiet and shy.  When I first started school, some of my classmates actually wondered if I was able to speak I was so silent in class. Also, I grew up in the deep South where girls are expected to mind their words.  Always be polite, never rude.  Don’t talk too much or know too much or else others won’t like you.  Just smile and be sweet. All of this cultural conditioning worked very well on me.  When we are having trouble with customers at the coffee shop where I barista, I am often nominated to talk to the problem party as I will be the least likely to offend them or make them mad.  Me and my honey coated words. But with that gift of diplomacy also comes a price.  I still hold silent far too much.  I weigh my words until they are so heavy that I cannot get them out of my mouth.  I just hold them in with a tight tongue and clenched jaw.

So I’ve decided for 2014 my resolution will be to let loose my tongue.

I’m not exactly sure how it will go.  I hope it will manifest in some good ways like books written and classes taught.  Honest and meaningful conversations had with friends.  More and deeper connections with others in the world. But it might get a little messy too.

 My husband offers that when people are finding their voice it sometimes comes out squeaky and uneven.  

Like when I just couldn’t hold silent after a woman zoomed through the pedestrian crossing I was in the middle of with my kids while shopping recently.  When we saw that Lexus drive round by our parked car my tongue found its way to sharing with her my words of frustration.  The kids were a little scared.  The driver eventually apologized. My husband called me Tiwanda and promised he’d keep some bail money on hand just in case. And me? Honestly it felt pretty great to speak my mind for once. So hopefully you will all bear with me as I go through a late adolescence of finding my voice.  I am so grateful to have this place to write and share and say what is on my mind. And as I loosen my own held tongue, feel free to join in.  I love to read your comments and hear your thoughts on matters far and wide. Oh, and my second resolution is to have more fun.  Thereby making this basset my official loose tongues, fun embracing symbol for 2014 ]]>